Sunday, March 31, 2013 ♥
33 ♥
33rd Message
Its my birthday yesterday, Happy Birthday to me. I know i should be hoping for anything but somewhere in my heart still wish to receive a birthday wish from you... But it never came
Walk a detour while otw home, like how i used to send you home when we went out. The path that seems so memorable to me. I just couldnt hold my tears on my birthday even.
About the same time last year was my birthday chalet. Still remember you came over to help me carry some stuff over and came over everyday. Even the last day i overslept and you called me up in the morning.
I was quite hesitate initially when you came back... kidda cold... But hearing you telling me that you have changed and similar thing will not happen again makes me try to wanna believe in you again. Deep down my heart i still want you. As time goes by i ended up accepting you again... And yes, the story loops...
I lost the sense of being secure... afraid that people around me might just leave me like how you do... I may not express my feelings to you well, i may not be a good boyfriend to you... I maybe the worst guy to you even now... But thinking about you and hoping you would be back and not leave for 3 years after hurting 3 times is no joke...
I would be grateful if you really did love me for that short period of time...
Love you much...
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 ♥
32 ♥
32nd Message
Happy Birthday , to the one i love most. Wanted to make a surprise but i did not do it in the end... My heart is telling me to, but my mind says that there is no meaning to it. You arent coming back... Thinking back the past jus makes me tear again. Alone in my dark room. Wishing you happy birthday was the most i can do for you. I had never once forgotten you, not even a second. Everyone is asking me to move on, yes im moving on. Yet i just can put some stuff down, no idea why... Just hope that you are doing well and happy.
Happy Birthday Tianying, I love you.
Sunday, February 10, 2013 ♥
31 ♥
31st Message
Happy Chinese New Year Tianying. Something funny happened today. My cousin's gf happen to have the same name as you. Keep hearing your name while the relatives were talking. All was in my mind was you... How i wish you were here too... but its worst than impossible...
Was out the day before with my friend for supper. Saw something fly across the sky, most likely a shooting star, i suppose. My friend wishes for something, yet i didnt. Cause i duno what i really wanted now... You to come back or not to... Even though i miss you so much that you could come back, im so afriad you would leave me again... If only i could be sure that you wont leave again, i wish you would be my side, from now till forever... The one that i love most that no one even myself could understand the reason... I love you Tianying...
Wednesday, February 6, 2013 ♥
30 ♥
30th Message
Still thinking of you and made me unable to carry on with my assignments... Everyday dragging my mood around... Something just came across my mind. even tho now that we are like strangers when we meet each other. Strangers with memories...
And the thing that was in my mind, if I would see you walking in the rain one day, i would still pass you my umbrella to use. Leaving myself walking in the rain... And if you happen to be in danger, i would die for you in order to save you... I miss you...
Monday, January 28, 2013 ♥
29 ♥
29th Message
Working before Uni. Rushing Uni stuff. Having more friends around me. Im glad im feeling better and putting down everything behind. Then i realise today that i have not forgotten you... Cux i had been thinking of you even the past few days...
Wonder how you are doing now...
Had always notice u coming online and offline, yet i have not say a single word.
At last strong enough to go to your facebook but realise that you have already deleted me from your friendlist. Should i thank you for that?
Tianying, i miss you alot more than i thought... I hope one day you will talk to me again...
Even tho my heart is already shattered...
Monday, November 12, 2012 ♥
28 ♥
Lost my phone, my message with u, the photo of u, the voice message of yours... I miss u so badly... As i read through the left over msn chat history, tears flows down my cheek again. Cried so badly like a idiot, yet u know nth abt it... Im so in pain... Like a fool... I knw u wont care whether if i live or die nw. But y am i still worrying about u? I have to forget u and give up on u eventually... But for now, i still miss u so much... U shldnt have let me knw tht u r wit someone else, so i could continue to lie to myself with the excuse u gave and u staying as a perfect girl in my mind...
Wednesday, October 31, 2012 ♥
27 ♥
Just when i finally be able to trust u again duing the 3rd time, u left again... Its because throughout, im so afraid that u will leave again, that i did not make it official. But in my heart, u r the one i love so much so much... Saying that you have become more mature now is no use. I hope pehaps one day u will really realise that only this one idiot that love u so much, would actually continue loving u as much even after being hurt so deeply... I miss you, Tianying...
Sunday, October 28, 2012 ♥
26 ♥
26th Message
Sometimes i just cant find the right words to use, sometimes i duno how to act romantic or do stuff that surprise u and make u happy... Im trying hard to... But sometimes i jus wish tht will feel how i felt abt u... Cux this feeling never change no matter how many times u left or broke my heart... Even with this shattered heart, i couldnt tell myself tht i will not let u come in to my heart again... Even with so much pain, even tho i know u will leave me once again... But jus for another while that u could. E by my side... That i can protect u. I feel so stupid. When every night, the feeling inside me kills me... Tearing like a idiot... Just because i fall for someone so deeply.so much that others cant comprehand...
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 ♥
25 ♥
25th Message
I still miss you alot. Wanted to text you so much, yet i know whatever i do is either useless or just stupid. Even tho all the trust had alrdy been shattered, i still want you back somehow... Then again, how much can i put my trust in you again this time... The words that you said to me when you came back was sweet, yet the promise you gave, never last... Im in great pain everyday, every night... Just cause i miss someone who i love so much and yet she hurt me so deeply. No matter the pain, i still love you like a idiot... Pabo yah...
Saturday, October 20, 2012 ♥
24 ♥
24th Message
More than two years had past since the first time you left me. Came back this year March and left me again on June. I have always think of you as the one and only for the rest of my life. Yet it just seems nothing get through... Sometimes i just wish to shout out loud, so loud that the whole world could hear that i love you so much... Waited for a total of more than two years, you left me three times. I dont know if i should call myself stupid or what. We never really even had a proper photo taken together for me to keep. Have no idea what i want now, cause my heart still wants you, yet my brain tells me that you will hurt me even more each time you comes back. If only you really felt what you yourself said, i really need you in my life, you wouldnt have done all this over and over again. Misses you so much every single day. Ho TianYing, I love you more than anyone else in your life from the day I know you, till the day i die.
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Friday, July 8, 2011 ♥
23 ♥
23rd Message
Playing pool with my friend now. Thinking of u, thinking of the past. I have no idea if i shld be happy or sad now. U r tgt with him again. He is the one who can protect u. Now i really feel the meaning of living in different world. I cant help u when u r in trouble... T*******, u nv knw how i feel. Do u?? U asked me abt my fb status, how am i gona tell u wat it is abt? Some things is meant to be left unsaid... Wat difference will it makes even if i say it? I indeed have lots to tell u and lots of them are jus... Confession left unsaid... I love u T*******...
♥
22 ♥
22nd Message
Last nite in this camp, cnt slp. Thinking of u once again... Shld i let u knw that i still love u? Or shld i not? Miss u alot... U r the one i love the most yet the one tht i couldnt do anything for u when u nd help. Makes me feel so useless. Wat shld i do now? ♥
21 ♥
21st Message
Everything seems to be over le. Hope u r going to b to normal. Heard abt similar ting in camp during my test. Suddenly feel damn upset. I cant help but keep blaming myself for leaving your side a year ago. Maybe things might be different from now. Nth can be undone. I jus got to live with it... But i dun think i can forgive myself.... Past two day u din msg much again. Really dun knw y... I hope we dun distance again... Thinking back abt it, i cant do a single crap during tht time and i knw nth. It seems lyk we r living in two different world... U even call yr ex to help u, he also sent u home. What did i do? Felt so useless out of a sudden. Really wana knw wat am i to u now...
Friday, June 3, 2011 ♥
20 ♥
20th Message
Each day cheering you up, thinking wat i could do to help you. Yet nth seems to come out of my mind. Let me knw wat he threaten u with, let me protect u. This cant go on forever. When u told me how u control your tears in sch, i cant help but feel sad too. I dun wan you to get hurt at all~ Cux u r precious to me...
♥
19 ♥
19th Message
Its reaching june, the time that we first met. Back to how we used to chit chat about anything again. But will we be tgt again? I really have little confidence tho... My friend told me the one who leaves shld be the one saying. I somehow tink so too... But then again, will a gal say first? I miss you alot, had been long since i see you. Dear ghost, how long r u going to fly ard before coming back to me? <3 u~
♥
18 ♥
18th Message
Half drunk, in my friend hse. Whole mind only got u... I knw you r attached now... and its almost a year... I jus cant forget about u... Im still gonna wait... I love you alot t******* Nitex...
Saturday, March 12, 2011 ♥
17 ♥
17th Message
Friend pek check with me for doing stupid stuff... Lolx! I think there are somethings or watever that i shouldnt bother to do or care anymore. In reality, time cnt be turned back. No matter how long or how much to look back, the result is still the same. Somehow i feel that u have already found someone else le... Im not sad, neither am i happy. Numb le... My emotional side almost died totally le. Its like im not gonna feel sad so easily anymore. Should be glad that u found someone if its true bah. Afterall u this ben dan always nv take care hao, fall sick so easily, have so much weird problem. Lolx. Need someone to take care of u better. Guardian Angels protects u from the front, give u the love and care. As a Guardian Ghost, i protect u with watever i can. But from the back that u dun even notice my existance anymore...
Friday, March 11, 2011 ♥
16 ♥
16th Message
Today is 10th March. Suddenly miss you so much that my brain has nth else but u. We were briefed about our driving test at Ubi for next week. The first thing that came to my mind is that you came with me during my first test. I failed it. But im happy that its the first time i meet u. After the test, went to the coffee shop and find u. Duno who buy QOO and complain about the food thr. Lolx. Miss you so much, i tried to sms u again. Friend scolded me yet i ignore. I believe that i knw u better than them. Recieved 5 msg from u today, was so damn happy that i could tear anytime. had been 9 months since we talk to each other about something. Its March now, birthday is coming. Wonder what u will lyk to have? Wonder will you be celebrating. Im in camp on my 21st birthday. Cant ask for much, just hope that u will come back to me and not leave me again. Love me forever, girl. Cux i really love u alot, t*******.
♥
15 ♥
15th Message
POP liao! Lolx. Now everyday training drills sia. So tiring and sleepy... Parents going to watch too... Was thinking if u could also be there to see... Its so lyk a once in a life time thing sia... See how much i change and stuff liddat...But i knw there is no way u gonna be at the grand stand anymore... watching me march and cheering for me. Neither will anyone, other than my parents... Hahax! If only you were still here, after all and all... I woulc tell my parents and squadmates. Hey! this is my cute and sweet girlfriend. I will never let her go and will love her with all i got
♥
14 ♥
14th Message
Wish so much that u would be happy yet something happened. Wana know y, but since you wont say to me, im ok with it. Cux no matter wat, im still by your side. After near 9 month, this is the first time you replied me. Im kidda happy tho... However u seem so cold to me... Hope things will get better soon.
♥
13 ♥
13th Message
Many things happened this month. In camp, in life and in my r/s. After all and all, i still think back about you. Just had my 3 days block leave. Kena force to take. Was wondering if we would be going out tgt everyday or not if u have nt leave. I would keep alot of time for u. Was booking in today le. In mrt saw so many girls sia. Imagining your height, your look. Imagine u were beside me, sending me off to camp... I smiled to myself for awhile... Its not possible anymore... And nw im lying on bed thinking about... So tired yet i cnt slp... We are not even friends now. When will you ever talk to me again? i wish the reason for not talking to me is to prevent me from getting trouble and not avoiding me... But trust me, i did rather get beaten and have you by my side... Cux i really miss u...
♥
12 ♥
12th Message
Going to bookout got another block leave le... Ah... But seems lyk i have nth much to do though. How i wish i can still go out with you... Had beens looking at your name in my phone contact, yet i have send u not even a single msg... Valentines day is this coming monday... Will i see you in the street again? Guess your bf will be planning something sweet for u huh...
Thursday, February 3, 2011 ♥
11 ♥
11th Message
Its chinese new year today! Send you msg again, but still no reply from you... Am i not even a friend to you anymore? Wanted to talk to you so much again... Miss the time you disturb me and wan me to play audi with you... Happy chinese new year, t*******... Have a great year ahead... Hope one day you will start talking to me again... My beloved ghost...
♥
10 ♥
10th Message
Sometimes i still wonder what is the actual reason that you become together with me and also left me. Everything come and go so fast. Feels like there is never enough time when im with you... If you truely love me for that period of time, i really duno if i should thank you for falling in love with such a useless guy or what... Hahax... Pehaps i cant give you a security feeling that a guy should... My friend once told me this and i nv forget it... And i think its really true for me... 6 month since you left me... Many things just ran through my mind. I guess it might make me a better bf in future... For another gal, or maybe... The one and only you that may come back one day...
♥
9 ♥
9th Message
T*******... How r u? Seems lyk you are fine... Hahax. Dreamt of you that day in camp. Was a happy dream to me eh... Somehow whenever i c gal that r small size reminds me of you now... Lolx... No matter how much i want you to come back, my body does not do anything about it... How will a one month love win over a one year love? It just came to my mind suddenly... What can i do? Whatever i do will just make you feel irritated... It somehow disturb your happy life... I rather suffer myself than having to spoil your happiness... Seems stupid eh... Hahax... Everytime i type a msg to you, i will jus tear... Yet i can do is just type and type and type... Nth get to you... I know u r always so stubbon... Same as me... Lolx. But thats you and i love you... All i wana say is i still wan you back even though i nv tried to get you back... Take care gal... Nitex...
♥
8 ♥
8th Message
Its new year eve that day and i really saw you on the last time before 2010 ends. Im glad my wish came true. No idea who had gave me this holy chance. Saw your friend too, but you were just avoiding me. I just keep lying to myself that it was coincidence that you turn and look down. Walk past each other lyk strangers. It just hurts me deep in my heart. I couldnt just burst into tears right at the spot. No one would... Its the kind of feelings i need to pay so i get to c u again... Now its a new year, wish you have a happy year. Worry so much that you might get hurt again. Saw that you said in blog about having the right one, the oni bf, i think its time i find path to move on too... Im trying to step forward too... Will you give me back my heart that i left with you? Will u?
♥
7 ♥
7th Message
Its christmas tonight. I wish not for santa to send you to me. Cux that would take your happiness away. I wish he could send me to you. So that there will be someone around when you need... If a single snow flake represents that i miss you, it would be snowing now... Merry christmas t*******... Love u always... Hope he never would change back again to the past and that love you even more now... Wonder if you are enjoying yourself now... If only i can c u again during this year, this day, this christmas...
♥
6 ♥
6th Message
Time pass by so meaninglessly for me this few months. Just kind of like losing the aim in my life. Almost 5 months since you left me. Im still thinking of you everyday. Regardless how tired or sleepy after training. Every weekend will look at how you have been. Smiled to myself when i saw that your boyfriend is treating you well and loving you. That matters is still that you are happy. Seeing you smiling in your pictures could just be my best comfort. I guess im just noy able to give you what you want and make you feelsecured. I will never forget the times we spent together eventhough the time is short. Cause thats the happiest moment in my life. To be with you, right beside you and be there when you need someone. I still have to say that t*******, i love you alot. I wished so much that you could come back to me. Forever your hungry ghost, your guardian ghost.
♥
5 ♥
5th Message
Hope you two will last long and that he really changed to a better person. Recently c that you are upset... Yet i just duno what i should do. Pehaps he is there for you would be enough... Stay happy my girl... And for im always your noob guardian ghost...
♥
4 ♥
4th Message
Gonna enter for NS le... Will be 3 month missing and 2 year lack of time for anything... Enjoy going out with you and really nice having you by my side... However it does not last long. No idea y you have changed but i jus felt that you dun tok to me much and treat me coldly... Seldom go out with me and nv call me to go out with your friends anymore... Im getting not used to it... Kidda sad for me, but thats what you wan tho... Rmb to take gd care of yourself and our pooh bear... I duno whats going through your mind rit now, but i wont be so selfish to force you to be with me after all this... If you found a better person, i wish u all the best with him and last long... And all i left to say is that i love u alot alot... That no one else you could find, would love and care for you more than i do... Bye... Take carex...
♥
3 ♥
3rd Message
Dear t*******... Did i do something that made you angrty? I really duno but i really wish i could know and change to be better... Miss you alot over this few weeks... Wondering how you are doing and stuff. all i could do is visit you at your blog and facebook everyday... Wished that i am by your side when you are sad... Love with with all my heart... I hope that you would be my first and last girlfriend... Will you?
♥
2 ♥
2nd Message
Im wearing the ring everyday. Im not sure if the way im acting is foolish or wat. Im thinking of you everyday and nite...Made the ring on the one month that we have been together. Hope ta ask you to be together with me... But i failed tho... Bu shi xi wang ni neng wear the ring. But hope that you could keep it... Keep it in somewhere that you wont lose it... Cux that represents the happy memories we had together... the things we do, the place we went... And the same path we walked home together...
♥
1 ♥
1st Message
T*******, if i slp and nv wake up. Means i left this world liao~ I duno wat reason or difficulty you have. But i hope that you have really love wo the past few weeks. Im very happy to have you beside me... I love you lots, bye. ♥
Messages ♥
So many messages in my inbox that are unsent... Wanna read them?
Thursday, August 26, 2010 ♥
Once again i failed ♥
It was all like a dream, started from june 2010.From the first time i saw you, to the last... I thought i have find my happiness...
All i thought was to give in my best for u, but nevertheless everything just ended
Everything still stays in my mind
Whatever we did together,
Wherever we went,
Whoever we were with...
It did not fade away as fast as yours does
Or i could say that, it just could not fade away
I am still by your side somehow now
But not visible anymore once again~
For i am just a guardian ghost...
You are back to who you belong to, thats what you say
And i really hope he did change for the better...
For you...
And treat you better now...
Even if i have to turn back time, i guess i will still make the same choice
Yet this time i would spend every single day i have with you
Because now i know that you are gonna leave...
I love you more than anyone does
Yet i know that nothing will change from now on
Noob
Hungry Ghost
Guardian Ghost
Goodbye...
